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How to: Valentine's Day.

Pleasing and playing with your partner is a long game. There is no simple solution to inviting a spark back in a relationship that has gone out. And there certainly is no shortcut to communication.

We all know Valentine's Day is actual bullshit. I mean, I do think if your partner is interested in celebrating that you absolutely should plan a romantic night and this is just an opportunity to insert my knowledge, but realistically, Valentine's Day puts a ton of pressure on people to sexually perform. It also puts a ton of pressure on people to read minds. There is no simple cure for a loss of spark but this: have you asked them what they like lately?

It's about sparking interest. It's about creating a ritual with your significant other. It's about excitement. It's not about following someone else's guidance BUT because I am a benevolent master, here is a guide to a romantic sensation play evening.

What you'll need (all optional_:

--one tin of altoids (for fresh breath!)

---one pinwheel

---one rose quartz roller (can be used on face too).

---one wax play candle: must be low temperature paraffin wax (I can also make custom candles for you), or one massage candle (also sell these at


---one feather duster

--one blindfold


--flowers or a new plant. bring some fresh life into the place.

--other oils or scents that you may like.

And music? I have that by the pound:

Plus herbs for your ____:

--Damiana ( Damiana works by sending blood to genitalia causing them to become engorged. This works with any gender but is particularly potent with clitorises. The growth mimics what happens naturally when a person is turned on. When someone brushes your nipple. Grazes your neck. Whispers your name. Some people simply have a little trouble getting started or have lost their sex drive. Now each "shot" only lasts about 10-15 minutes so only use when you are getting ready or take another dose right as you start. All blends, including more with damiana, can be found at I also make custom blends.

Alcohol can interfere with performance. Remember that!

You know better than I what your significant other likes but ambience really gets me going. Place your gift (if you got them something, remember, it's all capitalism) on the mantle or bed so they can see it, or entice them more by telling them you have something special for them after their massage. I love games. I love anticipation. Have them open one small thing and open the rest after and please: don't make a new s*x toy the present. Only give them gifts they like. That toy is for the both of you but It should not count towards a present.

The build up starts long before the night. Make them breakfast. Or at least make them coffee. Leave them something small on their bedside that morning. Tuck a note into their lunchbox. Send them a special good morning text. LISTEN TO WHAT THEY NEED.

Lay the herbs or petals before gently laying your partner. Ask them if it's ok to restrain them (you can use ribbon or velcro cuffs to start if they are afraid of rope or more intense restraints). Ask them if it's ok to blindfold them. Sensory play is about feeling and often removing the visual cues/ability to see what your partner is planning helps them to get in a heightened state. I tend to use blindfolds when people are too excited or have a tendency to finish too fast as well. Begin with the soft feather duster. Rub this up and down their arms slowly. Over their stomach. Their chest. Bring the rose quartz out. Do the same thing. Now I can't get too explicit here so please use your imagination (or email to purchase my how to audio/video). It's about tension building. As you tickle, whisper. Give little kisses as you begin to explore the rest.

The key word is slow. Soft. Tension. This not about rushing. And this is certainly not about you. Ask your partner how something feels. Did you like that? Would you like more of that? Talk to them to help them open up and talk to you. Ask them if heat is ok. Try a little wax play drip over their skin. Remember to hold at least six inches above the skin!

And because I can't go into all the details.....

For those interested in the rest of the instructions, I have audio/video for purchase about a hot Valentine's Day. This is not available on any site.

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( I wrote this last year but thought I'd give you a glimpse). I follow an aggregate Instagram, @not.a.statistic.19, that collects stories from around the globe involving sex workers. I would make a ge



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